KH: The Process of Fading Away

It didn’t happen right away.

The process by which Roxas faded into Sora was gradual, long and painful.

Only brief flashes of his memories were every given up. They were never enough to understand anything. It made Sora stop and wonder… why Roxas had to fade away at all.


It was months before Sora realized that none of the memories he regained involved Axel. None at all. Each was different and concerned a snippet of other Organization members, a few which Sora couldn’t help but feel as if he’d seen them somewhere but knew  he hadn’t.
None of those memories contained Axel, though.

Why? Why doesn’t…

Sora’s thoughts trailed off into nothingness as no answer came to his silent question.


He refused to fade. He never wanted to give up any of his memories. They where his! Not for anyone else to see! Especially not the ones with Axel. Axel is mine now. MY memories of him are all I have left. If I let them go… how will I remember how much he means to me!?

Roxas didn’t know where he was. Sora’s heart, perhaps? Where ever it was, he hated it.

It was a dark place filled with solely memories. Like a long hall, with thousands of TVs showing different memories. As he walked down the hall, dragging his hands across the walls he found he was watching Sora grow younger. When the memories stopped, Roxas was standing at another long hall stretching to both the left and right of him.

Curious, he ventured to the left. He found there the memories locked deep within Sora’s heart. The memories of which Sora had locked away, in an attempt to forget them. Or they had been locked away by someone else. Or maybe, a combination of both.

One memory he found there shocked him most. He stood in front it, teeth clenched as tears stung his bright blue eyes. He placed his hand over the screen.

Axel.

He watched in a sad kind of horror as Axel slowly faded back into true nothingness.

He listened as Axel uttered his last words. “He made me feel… like I had a heart.”

He felt his non-existent heart break into pieces as Axel finally used the last of his energy to open a path for Sora… and faded away.

Roxas fell to his knees, numb.

Why did Axel…

Doesn’t he love me?

Then why did he…

Why did he sacrifice himself… for Sora?

“It’s funny... You make me feel… the same.”


It might have been days, or hours, as time had no meaning in this place. Roxas sat, hugging his knees to his chest and watching the memories flash before him for what felt like a very long time. Helpless to do anything he couldn’t even bring himself to get up off the floor. It wasn’t until he remembered the other hallway, so long afterwards, did he pick himself off the floor. He staggered down the hallway until he stood in the doorway of the other hall.

This hallway was familiar to him. It housed his memories in the same fashion as Sora’s.

Only when Roxas got to the end, he found a few memories missing. Namely the “first” few of his Twilight Town.

Where had his memories of Hayner, Pence and Olette gone?

Traveling back into the main hallway of Sora’s memories he got his answer.

No.

Roxas moved fast as he could without tripping.

No…

Then, in horrific awe he found himself viewing his memories from within Sora’s heart.

No…

“THOSE ARE MINE!” Roxas screamed for the first time since he had arrived in this desolate place. He clawed at the wall but the memory was firmly implanted. It was Sora’s now.

NO!

Those are MY memories! SORA CAN’T HAVE THEM!

Roxas raced back to the hall of his memories just in time to see another memory begin to fade into the wall.

“NO!”

Roxas lunged for it and found his hands go through the wall, grasping the memory. With a firm grip on the memory he dragged it back into his hall.

He found himself staring into Axel’s eyes, a large smile on his face as the redhead handed Roxas a bar of ice cream.

“…Axel…” Roxas laid his hand on the memory and tears once again slid down his face. “I won’t let you go…”

Roxas spent the rest of his time arranging his memories in order from when he first came into the Organization to when he faded into Sora. Each time he found a memory of Axel he moved it to a different hall.

He didn’t know how or why, though he had an idea, but Sora’s memories were locked away inside his own heart. These memories Sora could not reach. Roxas moved his memories of Axel there. He gathered them all at the end of the hallway, watching Axel’s face flash before him.
It took a long time but he was done, Roxas sank into the end of the hallway, exhausted.

He turned to find the same memory of Axel he had saved from melting into Sora’s. He smiled sadly back at him.
He knew it was a matter of time.

A matter of time before these memories locked away finally seeped back into Sora’s heart. The lock would rust and fall away, eventually.
But for now, Roxas sat engulfed in his memories of Axel, content just to watch his best friend’s many facial expressions.


Some time later, Roxas finally summed up the courage to stop guarding his memories of Axel momentarily so he could check how many memories Sora had now. He didn’t have to go far to see nearly all had seeped back into his heart. Roxas didn’t care though. None of those memories… where important to him.

He only cared about keeping Axel his and his alone.

He was curious as to what Sora was up to as well. He ventured down the hall of Sora’s until he reached the end. Just he took another step, he tripped.

Over what, how or why Roxas will never know.

He only knows that he fell… Through the end of Sora’s hallway. Standing up, Roxas found himself in a hall with black screens. He walked to the end of the hall, counting.

6 rows, 12 total.

At the end was one last one. And it all it showed was darkness.

Does Sora’s hall end here? What does that mean?

Roxas thought back to his own hall. It had ended when he faded into Sora. When he wouldn’t remember anything else.

Oh…

Roxas knew now.

The hall ends when…

Sora dies…!


Roxas staggered back to his domain full of Axel in shock.

Sora was going to die soon.

And when Sora died, what happened to Roxas? More important, what happened to his memoires of Axel? Without Sora, Roxas was gone too. Without Roxas, there was no one left to love Axel, and his memory would no longer live on.

Roxas didn’t care what happened to him.

He only cared that Axel’s memory lived on. Nothing else mattered to him.


There had to be a way to stop it. Roxas stood at the end of the hall, examining Sora’s memoires.

He was sick. Sora was sick. With an extremely high fever. Comatose, almost.

Roxas moved into the hallway of blank memories and found only eight remained.

Sora was going to die soon.

Very soon.

There has to be something…!

As he traveled down the hall, he found one of his memories.

The one where DiZ told him, “Without you, Sora cannot be whole. You hold half of what he is.”
Then it hit him.

Sora was dying…

Because Roxas continued to live on here.

I… I’m stealing his life.

Then all of the sudden memories behind him began to disappear. As if the power was going out, the memories began to blink out; one by one.
Sora was going to die.

Now.

Roxas didn’t think about his next action.

I don’t care about myself.

He raced to the end of the hall.

Only that Axel lives on in SOMEONE’S heart!

He skidded to a half, realizing he would never make it. Breathing hard he turned and raced the other way until he was at the end of the hall of locked away memories.

He hesitated, but only for a second.

I’m sorry, Axel.

He though as he broke the lock.

I promised you would be mine but…

Memories flooded past him of Axel and whatever else had been locked away.

I couldn’t keep it.

The memories stopped blinking away as Sora suddenly regained new ones.

He had bought himself time.

But not much.

He ran to the end of the hallway and through the other side.

Only 2 screens remained.

Roxas felt the end of the hall. His hand passed right through it.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he pushed through.

Sora… Please don’t forget Axel.

And then he was gone.


…end…
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Somewhere, in the hallways of Sora’s heart a hall full of blank screens stretched for miles. The faint outline of a dirty blond haired boy smiling could be seen if one looked close enough.

Yeah, he’s going to live for a long time.