Because I Love You: 1

The device connected to the orange haired teen beeped at steady intervals showing his vitals. Renji sat by his side, staring blankly at the seemingly lifeless hand that lay limp on the white sheets. The fingers twitched lightly, proving he was just sleeping but Renji still feared for him.

He hadn’t woken up yet.

The wait was the worst part. Renji was not a patient man and when it came to Ichigo that patience was cut in half. Put him in a life threatening situation and he’s all out of patience. This was one of those situations where waiting was the worse thing ever.

He hated just sitting there, staring blankly at the other, wishing that he would open his eyes and show signs of life. The miniscule twitch of his fingers was not enough. He needed something more. Eye contact, him to touch him consciously, anything was better than jumping every time his finger moved even the slightest bit.

Renji’s fist clenched so tightly that his skin turned white.

“We’re sorry, it’s impossible to tell when he’ll wake up…”

He stood up, but once he did he couldn’t bring himself to move a step.

“…Or even if he’ll wake up.”

He whirled around, slamming his fist violently against the wall so hard a few people gasped as the building shook. Then, he slumped back down into the chair, resuming the same position of staring blankly at the teen.

A few moments later Rukia entered the room, a sorrowful expression marred her face. “Renji…” She muttered. “You haven’t slept in at least a week. I’ll watch him, you need to sleep.”

But Renji ignored her. He didn’t need to sleep. Sleep was merely a convenient way to pass the dark hours of the day. Rukia sighed irritably. “You’re a handful, you know that?”

Renji still said nothing. Normally he might have smirked at that, but no such muscle spasm happened this time. His face stayed frozen at it’s expressionless state.

Rukia crossed her arms now. “’I don’t need your goddamn pity, Pineapple Head!’” Her impersonation caught his attention. He glanced over at her, confusion written across his forehead. “That’s what Ichigo’d say if he saw you like this, you know.”

Renji finally betrayed himself by showing the tiniest smirk. It was true after all. Yet, the change in expression was gone when he looked back at Ichigo. Still unchanged over so many nights.

Rukia sat next to Renji, taking his hand. “…Let’s wait together.”

Renji was silent, but the way he squeezed her hand said it all.

X

It would be another week before Renji finally collapsed from exhaustion. Rukia watched as his body finally shut itself down and he fell face first onto the floor. Doctors and a few nurses rushed over but one doctor just smiled lightly. “He just needs sleep; he hasn’t slept in two weeks.”

A nurse looked at him, shocked. “Why…?”

“He’s waiting for someone to wake up.” The doctor said slyly. Rukia cocked her head slightly, still holding Renji in her tiny arms. How did he know?

The nurse smiled lightly. “I wish I had someone to wait like that for me, if I were ever in a coma.”

Rukia flushed when she realized why the doctor had looked so amused when he said that. He already knew what she hadn’t figured out until just then. He knew the reason why Renji hadn’t slept for two weeks, while Rukia had just guessed and gotten it way off.

He hadn’t slept because he was waiting for Ichigo to wake up. Why?

The doctor knew. The nurse knew. Why hadn’t Rukia known?

As she realized how blind she was she smiled lightly as she helped a few doctors move the man into Ichigo’s room. She laid him on a small cot they had grabbed for him. She knew now why he was waiting.

He loves him.

X

When Renji woke up he swore loudly, aware of what had happened. “Rukia…” He asked, pained. “How long have I been out?!”

“Calm down.” She commanded, pushing him back onto the cot. “Just about twelve hours.”

“Has he…” But he already knew the answer by the look on her face. “Of course not…”

Rukia fell silent as she watched Renji lay back down on the cot, placing his hands on his head and staring at the ceiling. She pretended not to notice the wet spot streak down his cheek.

X

The waiting was the hardest part, he had thought.

Now he knew that the waking up was the hardest part.

Finally, on exactly the thirty-second day Ichigo opened his eyes.

And Renji was there to watch.

His eyelids fluttered lightly as they slowly opened to reveal his beautiful almond eyes. Renji froze. Had he dozed off and started dreaming again? But as he reached out and touched his cheek and Ichigo’s eyes met his own he knew it wasn’t a dream at all. “I’m alive…?” Ichigo mouthed the words barely audible. But Renji heard it.

“You’re alive.” He replied, not caring to wipe away the tears sliding down his cheeks. “You’re… awake.”

A small smile passed the teens lips. “…I am.”

Renji was grinning so widely he felt his cheeks begin to burn from the effort of smiling after so many weeks of no emotion. “Rukia!” He shouted, glancing at the doorway. The girl, who had gone to get them some coffee, came rushing into the room. Once she saw Ichigo she dropped the cups, ignoring the hot substance that splashed everywhere as she ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

“You dummy! You had to choose to wake up while I was out the room, didn’t you?!”

Ichigo’s smile fell. “Who… are you?”

Suddenly, the world had become a lot darker as Rukia peeled herself off of him, staring at him. “What…?”

Ichigo looked so confused that it nearly broke Renji’s hear to watch him struggle to remember and come up short. “I don’t… remember you…”

He could have sworn he heard Rukia’s heart breaking.

“Ichigo…?” Renji asked, turning the boys head with his large hands so that he could look into his eyes. “Do you… remember me…?”

Ichigo hesitated and Renji’s expression turned agonizing. He didn’t remember him, either? Ichigo looked away. “I’m so sorry…”

He had thought the waiting was the hardest part.

Now he knew that the waking up was the hardest part.

…X…